*Hello.
Remember how we started? I think it was that silly text mate trend that best sparked things for us. I remember how when we first met up on our very first date, we both felt edgy, you kept looking at your watch, and me at the people around us, then at each other’s faces, and back to where we were last looking at. I thought, you’re cute, and all too put-together, but those little pins in your cheeks and chin are charming and rugged and oh, I like you? You caught me with your presence. But you never told me what you thought about me, until you kissed me on the cheek before we went separated ways. I was floating until it was time to say goodbye. And with that, our love story was bound to start.
But it was never quite as simple as that. You were in the academy, where phones weren't allowed, and it was hard.
*Every day I love you.
Yes, I loved you every day. You became the reason I woke up smiling each morning; the reason i enjoyed school because you inspired me to do good in my studies, the reason everything I did became effortless no matter how hard they seemed at first, the reason behind my creative thoughts, you were the reason I bounced and kicked and laughed and lived so contentedly, I could not bear to think of those times now without crying. And yes, you gave me life to my life. You made me alive. And the more you did it, the more I grew to want to keep you doing it, and then I started dreaming forever with you; started drawing a house in the clouds with you, started building a family with you in my dreams, two kids, a boy, a girl, you and me, a home- a happy home. Then I had another reason to wake up each day, to care for myself and you, to keep our relationship strong and live to see that day our dream were finally fulfilled. Every day, was a guilt-free time to appreciate each other; where you constantly told me what you thought of me on our first date, how you thought I have matured and grown, how you thought I was cute and attractive, and how you thought it was I whom you wanted to make your girl. Me, I loved you, and every day was a perfect occasion to love you even more.
*Every day I love you, less.
Then time started to come between us, every day you became busier than the first. Every day, you forgot about me more and more. Every day, I started to get clingy more and more, insecure more and more, fanatical more and more, stubborn and foolish more and more. Every day, our dreams faded more and more; our plans started to break, our days together started to worsen, and our love was shaken. Every day, was a perfect occasion for a fight, for screaming, for hating. I hated you, you hated me. Every day I woke up, miserable. For a moment there, I thought love was lost.
*Hurting but hanging on.
I hated you, you hated me, but no matter we decided we could not end things that soon. Love was still there, and a little tingle in the heart, a little music to the soul, a little more effort each day would keep it there. I started being light again; you started making more efforts again. We learned to seek for the beautiful in our ugly, the happy in our sad, the good in our bad. We started appreciating each other again, and we grew to find out how strong our love was.
*Love has come our way again.
So our love made us through, well partly. Our strong wanting to keep each other did, for the most part. Because we still had so much for each other; plans, dreams, days, love, and we wanted to stay to make them. We wanted to continue drawing houses in the clouds together, dreaming of a happy family together, two kids, a boy, a girl, you and me, a home- a happy home. And again, we were happy.
*On and off with the relationship now.
But, happiness was something we had to chase every now and then. We had it one hour, and then it flies out the window on another. Time was something you had to live out giving and patience I had to discover again, because I was losing it. I hated it. How we drove each other crazy, over petty things. How a diminutive fight could lead us to breaking-up. How we have stopped making each other happy. How we have lost that spark. How we have lost that love. How everything that has come to be my life for years has died, and how we have come to this point.
